


Get Clowned

by WickedHonktraband



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Black Romance, Blackcest, Choking, Earth C Au, Gamzee is fucking weird ok, Humiliation, M/M, Makaracest, Marking, Rough Sex, Semi-Public Sex, Size Difference, Size Kink, Xenobiology, death kink, nooks and bulges
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-16
Updated: 2017-04-16
Packaged: 2018-10-19 20:15:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,856
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10647258
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WickedHonktraband/pseuds/WickedHonktraband
Summary: It's your first catering gig for the bakery you'd been working for. Iris, your boss, thought you could handle it.You'd apparently also been requested specifically by the host. You thought that was kinda weird, but you did seem to have a lot of customers who enjoyed your demeanor at work.Though you weren't sure you'd ever met this one.Gamzee goes to a fancy house to do a catering job for the bakery he's been working for. The host of the party is none other than The Grand Highblood, who seems to be interested in more than the sweets Gamzee is serving.





	Get Clowned

It's your first catering gig for the bakery you'd been working for. Iris, your boss, thought you could handle it.  
You'd apparently also been requested specifically by the host. You thought that was kinda weird, but you did seem to have a lot of customers who enjoyed your demeanor at work.  
Though you weren't sure you'd ever met this one. 

This motherfucker's hive was fancy as fuck, all decked out with lavish furniture and bright colors; and that was just the front room.  
You arrive early and set up the tables for cupcakes, cake and pastries, arranging them all into a rainbow of colors. You figured the host might appreciate that. You set up your mini fridge with extra frosting and keep the extra cakes close by. The things you and Iris made at the bakery usually ran out quickly.  
Guests start to arrive and you catch sight of him, the host. You were right that you'd never met the guy, but fuck if you hadn't dreamed you would someday, back on alternia, as a wriggler. It was none other than the Grand motherfucking Highblood. Your ancestor and leader of the religion you'd abandoned sweeps ago. If he'd seen you working at the bakery, it was no wonder he'd requested you for this party. He probably wanted to either size you up, or cull you as a heretic.

Watching him move around and mingle as you work, you'd kinda let him cull you. As long as he fucked the shit out of you first. Holy fucking messiahs this motherfucker was sexy. He was HUGE, way fucking bigger than you, and you  
weren't no small motherfucker yourself. He had to be at least ten feet tall, not including that impressive set of horns, similar to your own, but twisted, spiraled and deadly sharp. He was all lean and muscular, littered with scars, no doubt from his days as a subjugulator. His face, while similar to yours was much more angular, less round and soft. His hair was wild, long and untamed.

He catches you staring and his intense purple eyes peer right into yours knowingly. He smirks, sauntering over to the table you're behind. The way he moves is all danger and sex, you're transfixed by it.

You pretend to busy yourself frosting cupcakes as he approaches. He looks over the array of deserts, bringing a clawed finger to his chin. Fuck those claws are hot...the shit he could do to you with those...fuck..you were working...WORKING! You had to remind yourself of that. You're snapped out of it when he speaks, his voice makes your nook quiver; all deep and smooth, with that little touch of danger that seems surround him.

"Hey there little brother, impressive fuckin' selection a' sweets you got here. What does a motherfucker recommend? What be yo' favorite?"

You stumble over your response and you're almost embarrassed.

"I-I...uh..w-we got uh..lotsa good shit here brother. Got that OG shit, that chocolate and vanilla biz, got some a' my personal wicked specialties up in here too. Motherfuckin' faygo cupcakes, got grape, got orange and got redpop. This motherfucker's personal favorite be the orange. I does it up with motherfuckin' marshmallow whipped creme frosting, it be the shit."

He smirks and picks up an orange cupcake.

"Sounds fuckin' wicked, little clown." 

He sniffs the sweet for a moment, then brings it to his lips. Looking down at you he licks the frosting obscenely, rolling his long tongue around the cake and moaning. You can feel your cheeks burning, fuck you wished you were that cupcake. Shit, ass, motherfuckin titty ho, damn, bitch this dude was fuckin hot. He chuckles and finishes off the cupcake, grabbing a few more.

"Yo' you was right cuz, that is the fuckin TITS. Props on those fuckin' baking skills you got." with that he goes back to his party, languidly moving through the crowd in that sexy way of his.

You didn't know what it was about the motherfucker, but he turned you on hardcore. You wanted him like, bad. 

You had a relationship of sorts going, with Eridan, but it wasn't really exclusive. The seadweller had official quadrants, you were pretty red for him, but the way he felt about you was...complicated... "almost human style" he'd said. A little bit of everything. You were fine with that, even if you weren't an offical quad, you still got to be with him. 

The way you felt about The Grand Highblood wasn't anything significant like that, it was just desire, animalistic, primal bullshit or something.  
You just wanted him to wreck you, to throw you down and dominate you. Sometimes you wondered why you were so aroused by being treated like a filthy bulgeslut, but hell it got you off hard, why over-analyze a good time?

You distract yourself from your arousal with work, frosting and putting out cupcakes as they disappear, making suggestions to guests, showing people the allergy and special diet options. By the end of the party you're not as hot and bothered as you had been before. You're starting to put away your supplies (only three or four cupcakes have survived the night and you'll probably share them with Rose or Eridan (whoever picks you up) on your way home) when you see him again. He crosses the room over to where you are slowly, leaning over onto your table. He smirks at you again, that sharp toothed, dangerous grin that makes you shiver.

"Seems like them sweets was a big hit, a motherfucker was right to hire you for this shindig."

"Y-yeah seems like they was. I's glad shit went over so good, boss will be fuckin' stoked." you respond, continuing to put away your things.

"Mmmm" he shifts, catching your attention, looking in your eyes again. "So..couldn't help but get my notice on that a motherfucker makes a little clown all hot and horny n' shit."

You fumble and drop the bag of frosting you were holding.

He laughs, taking a deep whiff when you bend down to pick it up. "Could fuckin' smell ya all night motherfucker, an' you's been smellin' fuckin...delicious."

You freeze when you hear him shift again and before you can stand up he's behind you, his strong, deadly hands gripping your hips, his groin pressed against your ass.  
You can feel his bulge wriggling in his loose fitting pants and you moan, fuck he's hella big...you do want him, that thing could tear your nook up..shiit that was hot as fuck..

"Is a motherfucker wrong? You want him don'tcha, little clown?" he rolls his hips into you, you moan like a slut in a pail-film.

"Yeeessssssss...fuuuuck!"

He grinds on you harder, obviously pleased with the reactions he's getting.

"Hope ya' like takin' it, cause this motherfucker don't let just no one at his nook, 'specially not little clowns he hears are filthy fish-fuckin' bucket-bitches."

You moan louder, rocking your hips back into his. "I-I...f-fuck..be preferin' to a-ah t-take it a-anyways. A-ain't none of your business who I fuck..c-crusty ass motherfucker. I ain't even k-know you."

You tremble and gasp, he thrusts against you and grinds himself into your nook hard.

"Better be watchin' how you fuckin' talk at me little clown, best get to showin' me some respect. I's not only ya' elder, I be The Grand motherfuckin' Highblood, his holy hilarity, you should be bowin' at my fuckin' feet, beggin' for me to spare that ass, I know you fuckin' abandoned the church."

You snort, moaning again. Fuckin' shit, you wanted that bulge up your nook so motherfuckin' bad. This motherfucker needed to shut up and get on with it already.

"You ain't the king of hoofbeast shit and you fuckin' know it motherfucker. What'chu the leader of anymore? Empress been dead for sweeps, you ain't got authority over shit now, an' you fuckin' know it. Fuckin' kill my ass if you want, won't do ya' no good. This wicked ninja can't be killed for real. You gonna fuck me? Or just get your blab on about shit that ain't mattered in a long ass fuckin' time?"

He grabs your waist and picks you up with ease, flipping you onto the table. You were glad it was sturdy as fuck.

"Fuckin' disrespectful, dirty, slutty ass, fish-fuckin' skank, bet your nook tastes like fuckin' low-tide you little bitch." He growls, pinning you beneath him, and wrapping a hand around your throat. 

He captures your lips in a painful kiss, shoving his long tongue forcibly into your mouth, his fangs nicking your lips. He squeezes your throat hard, making you open your mouth more, he ravages it.  
You're getting dizzy, and so fucking wet while he chokes you. He stops the kissing and trails his tongue to your shoulder, sinking his teeth into your skin. You gasp and tremble as he licks the wound, he increases the tightness of his grip and leans back to watch you struggle for air. Grinding his hips roughly into your clothed nook. You can feel your wetness starting to seep through your pants, and you imagine he can too.

He smiles darkly, constricting your windpipe even harder as he brings his other hand to join the first.

"Oh ya like that do ya? What a fuckin' disgrace you is, seepin' through ya drawers wet from gettin' choked out like a fuckin' heretic bitch. Bet you'd cum like a bitch if I fuckin' culled you."

You moan breathlessly, cumming so fucking hard, the thought of him killing you shouldn't have turned you on so much, but fuck, it did. Your body twitches and your nook spasms.  
He releases your neck, looking down at you in disgust, and ripping your sopping pants from your body.

"Nasty ass fuckin' slut." 

He crouches down, spreading your legs and running a thick finger up the dripping folds of your nook. Bringing it to his mouth he licks the material from it curiously.

"Good news little fucker, ya don't taste like rotten fish slurry. Nice to know ya clean up after ya shame ya'self like that."

You can feel his cool breath on your sensitive parts and you moan.

"S-shut the fuck up and get to eatin' a motherfucker out if ya gonna hang out down there, or get that bugle out an' fuck me already! Either way get to shuttin' the fuck up."

He growls and sinks his sharp teeth into the tender skin of your inner thigh.

"Shiiiiitfuuccck" you whine, tears actually welling up in your eyes, you can feel blood running down your thigh.

"Told ya' little fucker, you best be showin' me some respect. You ain't in charge here bucket-bitch, so how's about you be the one who gets to shuttin' the fuck up."

You bite your lip, your legs shaking as he licks the blood from the wound he'd just inflicted. He cleans the area, then starts to suck on the still bleeding puncture marks, distracting you as he brings one of those thick, clawed fingers to your nook. He slips it inside you and you gasp, he's careful as he inserts a second finger, you're surprised.

"Ain't wantin' to tear ya' up too bad, would like to fuckin' play with you again, can't do that if a motherfucker ruins ya'. Plus don't need no little fishes comin' and bitchin' at me that I broke their toy. This motherfucker's bulge dwarfs that fish you been fuckin' I guarantees that."

He stretches you slowly with his fingers, kissing and nipping at your thighs, using his free hand to play with your neglected bulge a little.

He scoffs, "I know you's aroused as fuck, this all you got little motherfucker? No wonder you's always the one takin' it, ya' bulge be fuckin' tiny fo' how big the resta ya is."

You start to object and he squeezes your bulge, hard. You moan instead, he removes his fingers, letting go of you and stands, pulling his pants from his hips and letting his bulge free.'Fuck, that thing does dwarf Eridan's, it dwarfs pretty much every bulge you've ever seen. He must notice your expression because he smirks.

"Told ya' little brother, you think you can take this? I does, from what I been hearin' you's a pretty big slut, lettin' any motherfucker up and use you like they be pleasin'."

You frown and start to object again, he slams into you with no warning, grabbing your legs and pulling you into him until he's fully buried in your nook.

"Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck" You cry out, it hurts, fuck it hurts so good!

He grunts and rolls his hips against you, pulling one of your legs up to rest on his shoulder.

"S-shit, you's tighter than I thought you'd be for a bucket-bitch."

You prop yourself up on your elbows, moving back against him with equal vigor, wrapping your other leg around his hip. Your tongue is hanging out and the only sounds you're making are loud, lewd moans. You've always been good at playing the part of a bulgeslut. It seems to excite him, he grabs the leg that's against him, digging his clawed fingers into your skin.

"Mmmmmmm that be what I was wantin' Look at ya', finally actin' like a proper slut oughtta. I's gonna enjoy fillin' this sugar sweet, slutty nook fulla' my slurry."

You keep playing your part, looking up at him with lust hazed, tear blurred eyes, like he's a fucking God or something. Motherfuckers always liked that. He growls and fucks you hard. You gasp and moan, your body trembling. It's getting hard to keep yourself propped up, so you fall back, bringing your hands to cover your face. He lets your leg fall, grabbing your hips roughly and pounding your nook ruthlessly.

He growls like a beast when he cums, your eyes go wide. You've never been so fucking full, you're stretched beyond your capacity by the time he's done and it fucking HURTS. He doesn't stop thrusting into you until you've cum too. It had to be the most painful orgasm you'd ever experienced, like it almost wasn't even good, but it was...so fucking good.

He pulls out and flops down on top of you. You make a disgusted face, the feeling of all that slurry leaking out of your nooks was...gross as fuck. He doesn't give you a chance to catch your breath before he sinks his teeth into your chest, making a mark that's sure to leave a scar. He licks his lips clean of your blood and moves his hand to complete his little project, using one of his sharp-ass claws to carve your shared sign into the center of the bite mark.

"What the fuck motherfucker?" you ask defiantly.

"I's decided, I'm keepin' ya' little clown. Layin' my claim. You gonna be my bitch now too." 

You're too shocked to really say anything in retort. He gets up and finds your jacket, grabbing your phone out, he enters his contact information, handing it back to you.

"Good news Gamzee, I enjoyed fuckin' ya too much to kill ya' heathen ass."

"Fuckin' goody for me."

You sit up slowly, your whole body is fucking sore as hell. You look for your pants, they're pretty much ruined. Great, how the fuck were you going to explain any of this to whoever picked you up?

He snaps his fingers and some random lowblodded troll enters the room with a fresh change of clothes for you, then leaves immediately after they've handed them off. You raise an eyebrow, this motherfucker sure seemed prepared for this situation.

"Just fuckin' curious. How the fuck you know so much about me? Was you plannin' on pailin' a motherfucker all along? That why you fuckin' hired me?"

He hands you the clothing and you start to get dressed, he chuckles.

"How you think? Kurloz motherfucker. The other ME. Told me all about how you abandoned the church, how you was goin' 'round fuckin' fish and lowbloods. Thought to me'self I gotta meet this little motherfucker. Found where you was workin', used this get together as an excuse to get ya' alone."

You pull on your jacket and open the group conversation you have going on your phone with Rose and Eridan. Messaging "Who pickin' me up?" to them.

"Shoulda fuckin' known I couldn't trust that mute ass motherfucker." 

You finish packing up the catering shit and load it onto the cart, turning to leave.

He grabs you from behind and nuzzles his chin into your head taking another deep sniff of you.

"You gonna be hearin' from me again real soon Gamzee."

You sigh and push him away.

"Whatever crusty-ass motherfucker, I's goin' the fuck home now. Had enough of your plottin' and shit."

You walk out the lavish doors and stand in the driveway to wait for your ride. You're kinda hoping it's Rose, she's human, she wouldn't be able to smell the sex all over you, it'd be a lot less explaining to do on your part.


End file.
